I have a hypothesis. Our self image, the ego image is made up of our image of those closest to us. We behave, we think, we act, we feel in resemblance with those images in our head. The key is on how that mental image is constructed in our heads. Do recall that our mental image in our mind is not the true image of the object being observed. So we could have an exaggerated mental image of a person. And we will use these collection of mental image to form our own self-image.
The more closer we are to a certain individual, the more his/her image will have on your self-image. The further we are to a certain individual, the less his/her image will have on your self-image.
Therefore, Pa’s passing has meant the shedding a part of my self-image, as he meant a lot to me. I see myself in him, cannot deny that. But, it also meant a part that is finally liberated to accommodate another person’s image. Someone’s image could suddenly jump from the end of the queue to the front of the queue and be accepted as a source.
The result is a changed individual.
What if, we remove this dependency on other’s image once and for all? The self-image would not exist, and the ego will cease to exist as it could not exist being naked. Ego is the self-image. There is no way suggesting that we should eliminate our closed ones in order to change ourselves. As eliminating them does not solve the underlying problem of being attached to someone’s image. As long as we have attachment involved, the self-image and ego will remain strong.
A self-image is a reflection of the ego. But the ego does not exist, and the true self is not the ego. We are our true selfs when we do not hide. We are not our true selfs when we hide.
This realisation is enough to eliminate that attachment.